Thor: Ragnarok (2017; Marvel Studios)

To say the Marvel Cinematic Universe has had highs and lows is an understatement, but Thor: Ragnarok, despite being at one point the highest-rated Marvel movie to date on the “infinitely reliable” Rotten Tomatoes (*scoff*), is a baffling exercise, the meat of which resembles the floor of a Golden Corral after it is raided by an Oprah studio audience that had been infected with the Rage Virus from 28 Days Later.  I walked away from Thor 3 not so much angry but rather confused.  I was entertained in the moment, for sure, but upon some reflection I realize just how indescribably-bizarre a specimen this movie really is.

Thor: Ragnarok follows the titular Norse icon as he finds himself in a strange new world and must fight his way out to return to Asgard and save his home before Hela can overtake the throne.  He is forced to face off with his old ally the Hulk in gladiatorial combat, team up with his selfish and deceitful brother Loki, and partner with a former Valkyrie-turned-slaver to defeat the embodiment of Death and rescue the people of his homeland.

In terms of the Marvel films we’ve seen so far, Ragnarok is more “Guardians of the Galaxy” than “Winter Soldier”.  It is filled with classic rock tracks and slow-motion montages and has a neon flair that is reminiscent of Gunn’s adaptations of the cult comics.  Where this does work is it sets a consistent tone for a movie, the problem is it sets that tone for a completely different film than the one you are watching.  The best way I can describe Thor: Ragnarok is, if you took one of the better, non-comical MCU movies from recent years and at the end of every seminal moment you insert a clip from The Family Guy.  Nearly every scene in the movie, including those that are supposed to have some weight to them, is punctuated with a splash of completely unnecessary humor.

To make matters worse, we aren’t talking Mel Brooks levels of comedy here, either; The man who wrote a chase scene involving a six-foot blunt has far too much pathos for this.  This is bad, sitcom-levels of comedy.  Thor is filled with half-written stinger jokes and pointless rambling dialogue that serves no purpose other than to pad the movie out and shutter a scene because the writers and director didn’t know how to end it; so instead of a resolution or smooth transition, we get a one-liner or a pratfall.  It is also painfully obvious that the director, Taika Waititi, thinks he is a whole lot funnier as a comedic director than he really is and the end result is embarrassing and completely cringeworthy.

A positive I will give Thor is the acting is pretty good, albeit occasionally goofy.  I am about 90% certain that most of the worst acting moments of the movie fall into the laps of the writers and director more so than the actors, though.  Hemsworth still makes the perfect Thor and Tom Hiddleston as Loki is still pretty solid, though he spends some parts of the movie trying to come off as badass and it really does not suit him.  Mark Ruffalo reprises his role as Bruce Banner and Tessa Thompson brings the classic character Valkyrie to the screen in style.  Jeff Goldblum plays the almost Messianic leader of a decadent and debaucherous hidden civilization and has some of the best lines in the movie delivering them as only he can.  Cate Blanchett plays the Lady of Death Hela with confidence, but takes the camp a little too far at times for my taste.  Idris Elba also returns as Heimdall but is barely even used in the movie.

These are our main players, and every other character is a punchline or an obnoxious comic foil.  Korg (voiced by the film’s director, Taika Waititi) is an unforgivably-annoying character.  He enters the scene running off dialogues that seem to go on forever.  He shows up and delivers lines as if he was riffing the movie he was in, completely disconnected from the events happening on screen or their impact.  The final scene in the movie, one that should have been powerful and a visual spectacle is suddenly stopped so we could get a stinger from Korg, who painfully mumbles a predictably-unfunny commentary on the very thing we are looking at.  I was in a packed house with people of all ages (including quite a few kids) and nobody, I mean nobody, was laughing at this alien annoyance.  He sucked the emotional presence out of every scene he was in and ground the movie to a needless halt in a way that Chris Tucker wishes he could aspire to.

As an action movie, Thor looks good.  It is not as claustrophobic as the previous Thor movies and has a good sense of scale.  Characters look like they belong in their world and everything has a consistent and admirable visual tone.  There really wasn’t much to hate on in the effects department except for the inclusion of Korg and his buddy, which look like a 2nd year computer animation student did them in a weekend in Unity and sold them to Marvel Studios to be included into the movie.  Other moments are bright, vivid, well-composed and you could actually see what was going on in the action scenes; a marked improvement over other CGI-fest thrill rides.

In all, to me Thor 3 looks like a movie-by-committee.  Previous Thor movies have been mostly-underwhelming, so I’m sure some suit at Disney said something to the effect of, “We need to make this one work.  What was the last movie that made us all of the money in the Universe?  ‘Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2’?  Good.  Let’s make that.  How much is Gunn charging these days…  How much?!  Oh, Hell no!  Who can we get for about… 10% of that?  The guy that made a mockumentary about vampires that nobody saw?  Sounds good.  Somebody get me my checkbook.”  This movie reeks of production-by-committee and cynical Hollywood marketing tactics.  Say what you want about some of the lesser Marvel movies since Iron Man 2, but at least there was visible effort and an honest attempt to recreate these worlds.  Thor: Ragnarok spends a majority of its running time on a world that was ripped right out of The Fifth Element only so we could have the creations of a self-indulgent director shoved down our throats.  To make matters worse, this universe and its goings on seem to have no consequence to the rest of the worlds we’ve encountered so far in Marvel’s big movies.  It’s there so we can see how “quirky” and “zany” Waititi is and that is it.  The term self-indulgent comes to mind, but I don’t think that quite nails it.  It’s more of an attempt at a strange self-aggrandizement mixed with an effort to recreate the laziest sorts of gags.  I can say, if you want to see it, it’s harmless enough, but this is not one that I will likely sit through again.

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